They run with their own mind.
They say we can control them but I don't think we can. Well not all of them, some of them appear when you least expect it. They make you think about things that might help you. But they will also bring thoughts you want to avoid.
Everyone has different ways of coping with their thoughts, some are good, some are bad. We see all of the way bad thoughts are handled. We possibly see them on TV or in the actions of those around us. Some of these actions effect everyone around u. And they can destroy what you had set up in your life.
Escaping the thoughts that run through the mind can be almost impossible. The memories that have to be chased away have either effect. They never leave u and haunt you for the rest of you living life. Or it be the opposite. You block it, burn it, make sure you never have anything to do with that memory again.
I don't want memories that will torment me, I don't want to know what would happen to me. to be surrounded by happy
SmilesIt comes for easily now.
Its like second again. I can pull a smile out of nowhere and know that it is a genuine one.
There are still those around me where life is not the greatest. And I hope for that to chance.
But I'm glad that I am me again, for it means that I can try to help those round me who need me.
Frowns come as easy as smiles, but the smiles chance the smiles away. Which is lovely to hear and beautiful to see (although I don't rly think im beautiful lol).
I can now say 'I'm okay' knowing that it is true... well truer then it has been for the last month.
I'm returning to my personal 'normal' and I am glad
All of my friends have helped
And so the smiles have returned.
Airi's possible thoughtsHe has forgotten me.
I sat at the table holding a pillow to my chest as I think of the night at the beach, the night I realised my true feelings for him. Aram, you idiot, how could you forget me? At the thought of his name his smile flashes in front of my eyes, but soon it changes to the look he gave me only yesterday. Mariabel's smug smile replaced Aram's face and anger filled me. It was Mariabel's fault, Mariabel and that box she gave Aram.
At his name his face filled me mind.
'Hello?' his voice filled the room, but it was a blank voice, held none of the joy that it used to.
'I'm in the dining room' I tell him and I try to hide the sadness from my face.
He still goes to school, thinking he is learning about my world. He can't return home without the maidens kiss. But he won't come to me looking for that kiss, because to him I am only a commoner and the one looking after him. I have to get him to remember, I think as I watch him put his bag on the ground. He has a blank expression, it
mental blankXDTOTAL MENTAL BLANK!!!
to all my dear readers.
Im sorry that im such a slack updater
Lately as u could guess from my journals i haven't exactly been in the happiest state... and for my own sanity i wasn't rly letting my mind wonder onto stories XD
but lets stay away from my mental state of mind XD
and get to what i was going to talk about..
i have a story in my head... YES I RLY DO!
but its stil in like the first sence... so i don't rly have anything to write down sorry
i keep changing my mind to so that doesnt help
BUT I KNOW A WAY YOU CAN HELP ME!!!
i need symbols or marks more like it... that can be placed onto the body..
i need a minnimum of two XD
if anyone can help me with this it wld be hugely appretiacted XD
IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME SEND ME A NOTE!!!
if ur curious as too y i need these pictures.. u can also ask XD hopefully i can explain it right lol
SORRY TO ALL THOSE WHO READ MY STORIES!!!!
comment or note... which ever XD on the ones that u think i simpl
make or breakFeelings
They can be good, they can be bad. They can be beautiful, that can be disgusting. They can life up your heart so high no one in this planet can bring you back to reality. They can also smash u into the ground and berry you so deep no one knows where to begin searching.
I am praying that I am gaining control of my emotions, so I can build a wall to protect myself, so I can try and help others. But I don't even know how to start making a wall... I don't remember ever trying to build one...
Maybe I trust people to easily... I've never had a wall, I've had a gate that can be opened and closed whenever anyone wants. I'm too easy to hurt, to easy to make happy, to quick to trust people...
But I don't want to change.. I am who I am. And I like who I am. Confidence in who you are and all that crap, but I'm doubting myself. I feel that I have two different sides.. one that I use at home and one I use at school. One who is care free and the other who worries about everything but herself
my healing heartThe pain is fading which is a relief
The cause is clear but is still hard to fix
The antidote has change which is brilliant for me,
But I still wish that something that I have felt could have gotten through, it seems like that will be an impossibility. This is because of many things, for one. He is to stupid to realise what any possible effect it could have on me and it seems that it no longer matters. He's pissed at me but I couldn't care.
Although the reason he is angry with me is something I wish I could change.
I hurt someone close to us both. I didn't know and no one told me. well not until it was to late. She knows my pain and it kinda became her own. It annoyed him because I made her cry. I hurt her when I didn't know and I regret that.
But the idiot doesn't know... doesn't know the true reason behind those tears. I do... I know because I am the cause. I know everything while he will forever remain in the dark...
Why you might ask??
She cant hurt him... they are in love.
a broken heart...Crying...
I hate it
Only makes u feel worse
And doesn't solve a thing!!!!!!!!!
I hate it with all of my being
It makes me feel weak
Useless because all I can do is cry for something I cant change
No matter wat... how much I wish to change it, turn back the time, make it better, fix the things that shld have been obvious but are even now still unclear. I need to turn back the time. Have it to the way it was. Because now im incomplete. Parts are missing and it hurts.
Its like someone is trying to burn their way through my flesh, through my bones to the part of me that is broken. My heart, its almost like the pain of loosing them in my mind isn't enough.
The pain of not being able to talk to them when ever I want, but now waiting for a time when a friend can talk, the pain in my heart does not vanish, only gets dimmer when I am concentrateing on other things, when I am with my friends and there is no reason to let my mind wonder. But when im alone, when no one is there to di